CHAPTER I: MEETING BY CHANCE...

CHAPTER I - MEETING BY CHANCE, MAYBE...
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I love to walk in the park...the big one near where my office is, and on these late summer but still warm days, with the fall breezes knocking at the door, it truly is a welcome respite.

So I was doing just that, on my lunch hour...walking, and then all of a sudden I came around a bend in the walk and there he was.

I looked at him and at first didn't quite realize what I was seeing...but then as I continued to look at him it became more clear. Behind the eyes I saw a hollow look. Almost but not quite dazed. No. More like empty. Totally empty.

Emptiness. Sadness, loneliness perhaps.  Most assuredly emptiness.

I felt a pang and I knew. This person sitting in front of me was a human being who was feeling virtually discarded by life. I just knew that, and my heart went into my throat because I could understand how someone in their forties could feel that way. In their fifties and sixties sure. But this was a young boy, maybe fifteen or sixteen...or close to it, and looking so lost and it just fucking broke my heart.

I love the way he looks now. So much happier.

  But back then...

He was sitting on the bench in front of me, one of those kindly put out by the city for the shopping-or-just-plain weary but I could tell this kid hadn't been shopping. He looked as if he had not eaten or God knows laughed in heaven knows how long.

At times like this I sorta go into Auto-Pilot. Instinct or whatever you want to call it, but almost before I knew what I was doing, I sat down beside him...still staring, rude to be sure but I felt almost captivated by the tangible sadness I was seeing. He just sat, saying nothing...just kneading his fingers against each other in kind of an offhand absent-minded way, looking straight ahead but I knew he was not seeing anything but for maybe his own pain.

"Hi," I said...before I knew I was going to, and then nothing...at first.

He just continued to sit...staring into space and I was about to give up and started to stand up when he suddenly spoke.

"Hi," he said in a kind of quivery whispery voice...

and then he turned to look at me.

The look was striking and my heart sank even further. I felt that I was right that he was probably about fifteen or sixteen. He was slight of build and obviously in need of a decent meal.  Dressed in jeans, a teeshirt with a lightweight jacket over it that was obviously overkill considering the daytime temperature...and a pack over his left shoulder.

Suddenly he turned back and his face went down into his hands. I knew he was starting to cry, and for a minute I felt so helpless...but then I moved closer and put my arms around him by instinct, and at that gesture of caring he began 

to lose it completely.

I had the feeling that my lunch hour was going to be way more than that today. Good thing I own the company. I also had the feeling that this was not going to be anything even remotely resembling a 'quickie', and I was oh so right.

He sat crying, silently at first, and I just let him go. Then I began to hear what almost sounded like the cry of a wounded animal, coming from deep within him. I tightened my grip...and we sat there like that for I don't know how long, me holding on tight and him sobbing at least for the moment...until finally he seemed to cry himself out. He kinda tapered off and I just held fast.

Finally he straightened up a little and then turned back to me. 

"Sorry," he muttered almost under his breath.

"No problem. We all go through stuff. What's your name?"

Again, for a minute he just sat staring at me as if he was afraid that if he looked away I might disappear. 'TOO LATE FOR THAT," I thought to myself.

"Jake (stifled sob), My name is Jake," he got that out with difficulty and I said...

"Nice to meet you, Jake."

For the first time since I came upon him, I caught the glimmer of a smile.

PROGRESS, methinks. Well, of a sort anyway.

What brought all this on I wondered to myself? 

This dude is way too young to be THIS lost, but even I know better than that. Feelings of isolation and being lost are nothing new to teenagers but this was different than that usual post-pubescent angst I've heard so much about but never of course experienced myself.  I decided I would stick it out and find out, and see if there was something I could do. Probably a vain thought, but so be it. I guess I should admit to having gathered a few stray kittens in my time.

This is sorta my M.O., or modus operandi. I see someone in trouble and like THE FOOL I BE, rush headlong forward into the abyss...never thinking I might end up in the quicksand WITH the aforementioned sinking human. Trust me. 

The buddy-system is NOT FOOL-proof.

Ah well, maybe some day I will learn. BUT, I doubt it. Mid-twenties and successful does NOT ALWAYS constitute right good sense methinks.

CHAPTER II - CLICK HERE