Once inside the house, I got him propelled to the kitchen and prepared a pretty good feast if I do say so myself, which he ate with zest...which confirmed my suspicions that he hadn't been eating much lately.
That out of the way, I got him into the library where we sat and I began to try to get the blanks filled in. He drank Coke and talked. I drank Coke and listened.
His mother had had a difficult pregnancy with him, and although she lived for awhile after he was born she really never recovered. His dad took her death hard, and slowly took to drinking...more and more until eventually he did little else. He was I gathered NOT a happy drunk and because his drinking was borne in grief and pain...it was even worse than it might otherwise have been. Usually when this happens, the drinker needs someone to vent to or on and whoever is closest is the one who gets the unhappy job of being the ventee. Jake was the obvious choice for his dad to take his frustrations and pain out on, having driven everyone else away. But there is never a winner when this happens. Jake's dad was the obvious victim but so was Jake through no fault of his own.
He had been in pain for so long following his mothers death...while also watching his father slowly or not so slowly destroying himself too that by now it had become virtually a way of life. He had no siblings and no close relatives to go to, and what friends there had been his dad had pushed away from both of them. Jake was left truly alone to deal with all that and NO KID should EVER have to deal with this sort of thing. Unfortunately way too many do.
I had only heard part of his story when I knew I had done the right thing and resolved to do what I could to turn things around for Jake. His father would have to find a way to right his own ship for himself, as it didn't sound like he would let me or anyone else in to help...but Jake I could and would do something about. It would not be easy, that much I knew. This sort of thing takes its toll, sometimes irreparably...but I was determined to do whatever it took to help Jake get a new start that would result in a happy productive life. As it was, that seemed unlikely and what would a sixteen year old dude DO...being homeless and no support from anyone.
"NO," I thought. NOT ON MY WATCH.
OMG. I laughed to myself. Here we go again. Hahaha...
and yes, here we were about to go again into for me uncharted waters, I really must stop doing this.
YEH, SURE!
Jake told me his dad normally left the house about ten at night and we decided to go that night about eleven and get his stuff, which we did. It went smoothly except for one thing. His dad was home. Home but passed out drunk in a chair in the living room and never stirred the entire time we were there. WHEW! I remember looking at him all curled up and wondering how anyone could do that to themselves. He had at one time obviously been a real hottie and it was easy to see where Jake got his looks, but the cumulative impact of years of drinking, probably not eating for shit, and God knows what all had made his skin pasty and dissipated looking. Shame, but it was what it was. I knew I would never get through to him and I doubted anyone else could either. He was way too far gone into a guilt trip for sure and addiction, and that while a damn shame is a pattern pretty hard to break.
We got home having that out of the way and settled in for a movie and some Pizza...and the first night of some real normalcy for Jake or so I hoped.
"You okay?" We were sitting in the TV room, pizza and sauce faces and all, watching a Melissa McCarthy movie and being notably devoid of anything but messy. Jake nodded as his mouth was full and I took that as a good sign. I knew this was ONLY THE BEGINNING, but beginning it was. Beginning of what I wasn't sure and figured that was okay. Maybe, maybe not.
CLICK HERE FOR CHAPTER V
That out of the way, I got him into the library where we sat and I began to try to get the blanks filled in. He drank Coke and talked. I drank Coke and listened.
His mother had had a difficult pregnancy with him, and although she lived for awhile after he was born she really never recovered. His dad took her death hard, and slowly took to drinking...more and more until eventually he did little else. He was I gathered NOT a happy drunk and because his drinking was borne in grief and pain...it was even worse than it might otherwise have been. Usually when this happens, the drinker needs someone to vent to or on and whoever is closest is the one who gets the unhappy job of being the ventee. Jake was the obvious choice for his dad to take his frustrations and pain out on, having driven everyone else away. But there is never a winner when this happens. Jake's dad was the obvious victim but so was Jake through no fault of his own.
He had been in pain for so long following his mothers death...while also watching his father slowly or not so slowly destroying himself too that by now it had become virtually a way of life. He had no siblings and no close relatives to go to, and what friends there had been his dad had pushed away from both of them. Jake was left truly alone to deal with all that and NO KID should EVER have to deal with this sort of thing. Unfortunately way too many do.
I had only heard part of his story when I knew I had done the right thing and resolved to do what I could to turn things around for Jake. His father would have to find a way to right his own ship for himself, as it didn't sound like he would let me or anyone else in to help...but Jake I could and would do something about. It would not be easy, that much I knew. This sort of thing takes its toll, sometimes irreparably...but I was determined to do whatever it took to help Jake get a new start that would result in a happy productive life. As it was, that seemed unlikely and what would a sixteen year old dude DO...being homeless and no support from anyone.
"NO," I thought. NOT ON MY WATCH.
OMG. I laughed to myself. Here we go again. Hahaha...
and yes, here we were about to go again into for me uncharted waters, I really must stop doing this.
YEH, SURE!
Jake told me his dad normally left the house about ten at night and we decided to go that night about eleven and get his stuff, which we did. It went smoothly except for one thing. His dad was home. Home but passed out drunk in a chair in the living room and never stirred the entire time we were there. WHEW! I remember looking at him all curled up and wondering how anyone could do that to themselves. He had at one time obviously been a real hottie and it was easy to see where Jake got his looks, but the cumulative impact of years of drinking, probably not eating for shit, and God knows what all had made his skin pasty and dissipated looking. Shame, but it was what it was. I knew I would never get through to him and I doubted anyone else could either. He was way too far gone into a guilt trip for sure and addiction, and that while a damn shame is a pattern pretty hard to break.
We got home having that out of the way and settled in for a movie and some Pizza...and the first night of some real normalcy for Jake or so I hoped.
"You okay?" We were sitting in the TV room, pizza and sauce faces and all, watching a Melissa McCarthy movie and being notably devoid of anything but messy. Jake nodded as his mouth was full and I took that as a good sign. I knew this was ONLY THE BEGINNING, but beginning it was. Beginning of what I wasn't sure and figured that was okay. Maybe, maybe not.
CLICK HERE FOR CHAPTER V
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